1. Salad Bars Are Trust Exercises
This week I watched a man sneeze near the cherry tomatoes
and immediately realized my immune system
is not the warrior it once was.
A salad bar is basically a casino for germs.
You spin the lettuce wheel
and hope for the best.
2. Every Grocery Store Bakery Smells Like Regret
I walked in to buy one loaf of bread.
ONE.
I walked out with:
• a pie
• two cookies
• and something called “Morning Bliss Danish Rolls,”
which, yes, lived up to the hype.
Retirement survival rule:
Never shop hungry.
Or bored.
Or conscious.
3. My Phone Now Corrects My Memory
I said to my wife, “That was in 2018.”
My phone: “Photo taken in 2015.”
Well thank you,
pocket-sized truth machine.
Thank you for reminding me
that time is now a soup.
4. Trying New Hobbies Is an Extreme Sport
This week I tried pickleball.
Within 10 minutes I:
• pulled a muscle
• insulted a stranger
• hit myself with the paddle
• and became oddly competitive
despite having zero skills
Pickleball is 80% fun,
20% physical therapy paperwork.
5. This Week’s Unexpected Gratitude
The neighbor who snow-blowed half my driveway
and said it was “no trouble.”
Kindness still exists.
It just wears a Carhartt jacket and knows how to operate dangerous machinery.
# # #
Did you enjoy this? Tap Like. Know someone who would? Restack it.
Steady on,
Bill Black
Porch Caretaker, Humble Observer
If you’ve got a spare minute, spend it here:
Thank you for the laughs. This was really good. I related to #2 and 4. Number 3 the way of our world.